Lepas Stressssssssssssssssss!!!

Kenapa bukan pemain aja ya?
Anak umur 3 tahun: "Ma, kakak itu pendiem ya?"
Mama: (senang anaknya bisa menilai orang) "Hmm, emang kenapa, dek?"
Anak: "Abis kakak suka bilang ke aku, 'dek, diem dong!'."

Didengar oleh seseorang yang tidak jadi menyelamati kepekaan anak itu.


Maaf, kami tidak melayani londo...
Sekelompok teman: (membaca menu) "Mas sweet ice teanya tujuh, ya!"
Pelayan dengan muka bingung: "Umm, tunggu sebentar ya..."
(...)
Pelayan kembali: "Maaf mas, gak ada..."
Salah satu teman penasaran: "Kalau gitu ganti es teh manisnya aja tujuh deh, mas!"
Pelayan: "Oh kalo itu ada mas!"

Mall di jakarta, didengar oleh enam orang teman lainnya yang malas menjelaskan ke pelayan apa persamaan sweet ice tea dan es teh manis.


Itu namanya juga Restoran Masuk! Eh, atau Keluar?
Teman #1: "Wah.. Hotel ini keren juga, hotel apaan sih, baru yah...?"
Teman #2: "Iya... Keren bo..."
Ketika melewati pintu masuk hotel
Teman #1: "Eh bo... Ini namanya HOTEL ENTRANCE."
Teman #2: "Oohh... Hotel entrance, baru pasti, gua baru liat, keren juga nih hotel entrance..."

Didengar oleh teman #3 yang ingin mencopot papan petunjuk itu dan menjejalkannya ke mulut mereka.

A peppery woman at the airline ticket counter was complaining long and loudly about the delay in her plane's departure.

"Young man," she snapped at the agent, "the way you people run this airline a witch on a janitor's broom could get there faster!"

The agent, with just a hint of a smile, says, "The runways are clear, madam. Please feel free."

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded, "Why would anyone want to go there. It's crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"TWA!" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."

"That dump! That's the worst hotel in Rome. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, what will you be doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it!"

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first-class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28-year-old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the Hotel! Well, it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors. And if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked in. As I knelt down he spoke a few words to me."

"What'd he say?"

"Where did you get that horrible haircut?"